Free Doctrines In All Specially Marked Packages


MOOism seems to be a perpetually self-mutagenic brain game. Each event in the MOO-complex is composed of mutually-destructive and even self-contradictory elements temporarily arranged in a pleasing form. Taking from everyday life, from religious viewpoints, and from asparagus patches, these diverse elements are created anew, through the creative recycling of pre-existent material. And stuff like that there.

To give you an idea of what this means, here is a sample MOOist potatoma (slightly less aggressive and self-willed than a dogma, or even catma) created just for this occasion.


Special designer doctrine follows in five... four... three... two... one...

The eating of the God to acquire its attributes is an ancient and venerable part of many religions. Christianity includes the consumption of the God in the form of the Communion, as a remnant of ancient Odinistic cults whose influence on Christianity spread throughout European forms of that particular religion. Ancient fertility cults associated their gods directly with their crops. The gods were devoured and reborn the next year.

The MOOist God Cheeseburger is one of the most widely worshipped god in the world. Temples to Cheeseburger exist all around the world. Only a few years ago, these were, in essence, fast food establishments. However, since essences are (as any Catholic can tell you), exchangable through transubstantiation, a ritual of MOOist magick converted them from actual fast food resaurants into Temples to Cheeseburger, which simply have all the accidents of a fast food restaurant. A related ritual converted yo-yos into prayer wheels feeding karmic power to the god Yo-yo.


The point of this, if you want to be pedantic, is that the Absolute is undifferentiated. Sacraments to the true Absolute exist everywhere.

Inasmuch as MOOism is a real religion at all, the only object of worship it can be said to have is the Absolute, of which nothing meaningful can be truthfully said (including the fact that nothing meaningful can be said about it). MOOist sacraments occur in every moment of life, and in every inanimate inaction not taken by the nonexistent beings which don't surround us. If some of these seem ridiculous, it's simply because they're made up on the spot. But unlike some spontaneous religions, our spontaneous inventions STICK. It's all very well to create doctrines on the spur of the moment, but if nothing ever sticks, if you feel inhibited about reusing material that's worked before, it doesn't serve much purpose.

MOOists extemporize, or ad-lib, from their knowledge base of existing religions, spiritual forms, and so forth, to create hitherto unknown works of belief and spiritual art. Some of these are temporary, but the catchy ones are reworked into something semipermanent.

And, of course, the genuinely stoopid ones last forever.

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